Adoptee Search & Reunion Support

Searching for biological family members can be frustrating and emotionally draining. It can also be frightening; you don’t know who or what you might find, or if you will find anyone at all. If you do find them, you worry about how you will be received. Once you screw up the courage to reach out and the reunion process begins, differences in expectations among members of the adoption constellation can cause conflict.

On television, adoption reunions are always depicted as tear-filled moments of pure joy; everyone has always been looking for everyone else all their lives, hearts and souls are instantly filled, family bonds are instantly formed.

Real life isn’t always like that.

Sometimes the adoption is a secret that no-one but the birth mother knows about. An adoptee who runs unto this becomes a whistleblower. Sometimes conception was the result of rape or incest and the adoptee becomes a reminder or horrific traumas. Often the search ends with the discovery of deceased birth parents, or birth parents who are not available or prepared to be reunited.

On the other hand, birth parents who are overjoyed can be overwhelming. They often assume the role of parent immediately and expect to be treated as though they raised you. There can be a feeling of obligation towards them that is difficult for adoptees to manage.

We can help!

Studies have shown that with the right guidance, reunions can have long-term success. Our experts have been there; we have navigated the search process in Ontario, and we have experienced positive and negative reunions. Our gentle adoptee-centred process assists you with setting expectations, armouring yourself against the possibility of negative outcomes, and providing you with the emotional strength and communication skills to ensure that you have the best chance of creating the most meaningful reunion experience possible.

Our Approach

At Adoptee Alliance, we recognize that negative reunion experiences exacerbate the trauma adoptees have already experienced. We want your reunion to be meaningful and fulfilling for everyone involved.

Our therapists equip you with tools to regulate emotions and manage stress. We support you with expectation-setting, encouragement, emotional support, and communication skills. We focus on self-awareness, self-regulation, and healthy relationships to reduce the impact of negative search and reunion experiences.

Our approach integrates mind, body, and spirit in healing through somatic and psychodynamic practices. It helps you connect with your authentic self and release stored trauma.

Our therapy transforms adoption and reunion trauma, empowering clients to heal and thrive.

For more information about adoptee search and reunion and how counselling can help, visit our FAQs or drop us a line.